Break time

Today is Saturday. No Dr appt.'s, no surgeries, no tests. I'm starting to feel like a pin cushion so this is a relief. I had three IV's this week. One blood draw besides that. Radioactive dyes, heavy metal solutions, and blue dye flowed in my veins. Heck, I even peed blue all day yesterday. It was as bright as Kool Aid.

This weekend I recover from the surgery and am brainstorming on fundraising while my head isnt swimming with the cancer fight. I'm trying to do leg work and find people to donate items, services, gift certificates, art, etc.because we're going to hold a "Beef and Beer". It's a fundraiser typical of South Jersey. I never even heard of them before until we moved here almost 4 years ago, and now I have cancer and am having one for my benefit. Lucky me...

We really do need money because I can't work right now. I need a clear head to tattoo. Not to mention my armpit is pretty sore right now from surgery yesterday. I'm hoping that during chemotherapy I can work. Everyone says I will and I'll be psyched to tattoo again. Heck these days I find joy in changing a stinky diaper. The little things really are the best things in life now.

The night I got that phone call I didn't eat anything. The first thing that popped in my head was to go completely Vegan and cut out refined sugar. After speaking with someone I know and love who was in remission, I decided to cut out fruits too because the body can't tell the difference from each type of sugar. Also processed soy products can act like estrogen in the body and feed cancer so I'm cutting that out too. However the cancer I have is estrogen negative.
The candida diet was recommended to me and eating local organic meats, but after watching "Forks Over Knives" and similar documentaries, I think that I'll stay vegan for now. I'm also avoiding anything out of a box containing ingredients that I'm unfamiliar with.
Please let me know if I can eat fruit. My diet an be so boring. Regardless I need to get into fighting shape. 'Nothing tastes as good as life feels"

Sentinel node biopsy

Today we had the sentinel node biopsy. The preliminary test came back negative for cancer in the lymph nodes, but we're awaiting the full testing results in 7 days. The preliminary test is 98% accurate, though. Fingers, toes, arms, arms, and legs crossed.
It feels like I got knifed in the armpit. Therefore I'm glad it's the weekend do I get a break from tests and docs do that I can recover from the minor surgery.
Next week is more testing and meeting more docs. They found another questionable area in my other breast via MRI so that means I need an ultrasound and possibly a biopsy done with local anesthesia. I meet with another oncologist and a plastic surgeon. So I'll be running around like a chicken with its head cut off again.

This face helps me through this. (and my son's face too)

The game of Life

After meeting with the oncologist today, I feel as if we're on a tight time schedule. I really want this tumor out or mastectomy asap. However, he's suggesting that we should try to do chemotherapy asap, adjuvent chemotherapy, even before surgery to shrink the tumor and also obliterate any cancer that might be in the rest of my body.

My fear is that the cancer will place itself in the body elsewhere while the chemotherapy is being done, 6 months, or that the chemo won't work. There is no doubt that I will need the chemotherapy.

We did the genetic counseling too. It's presenting itself like I could have the BRAC 1 or 2 mutation. So far it's PR and ER negative. The her 2 should come back today.

Last night I spoke with the surgeon, and she somewhat eased my mind. The day before my mind was set, and the oncologist spun the top again. My head is swimming. She suggested getting a second opinion with an oncologist that she thought would fit my personality. I'm playing the game of LIFE and spinning the game piece waiting for the next turn.

Today I'm getting an MRI and a third opinion for the surgery aspect. Oi vey... How crazy my life has become. I'll take tattooing over having a disease. Tomorrow we might be hang the lymph node sentinel surgery and extraction if there is cancer in the lymph nodes. If not tomorrow then early next week. My fears of going under anesthesia must be out aside.

The simple things are so pleasing now.

Another day at the hospital

A week ago and beyond we were planning a family summer vacation. Until last Wednesday night when everything changed with one phone call. Thank God my friend was visiting and there with me when I got that phone call.
Yesterday my mind reached another level of calm within the storm. We met another Surgeon, whom I feel very comfortable with. She put my mind at ease when she explained why we should do what we should do. She said that the other Doctor created something of a frenzy because I'm in a 1% group of people who get breast cancer while pregnant or post partum breast feeding. People get scared and worried more because we are rare. The mammographer said she's only seen a few of us in 15 years.
So after the Dr I felt even more empowered to overcome this. A friend said to me, "cancer who?". I am woman hear me roar.
Then the testing began. All day I was bouncing back and forth from building to building in the rain mind you. I had to fast all day except for drinking Barium sulfate. The funniest was the mammogram. She'd squish the breast and milk was squirting out.... Everywhere.
The only info I found out was from the radiographer on the ultrasound/mammogram. The mass is 4cm by 1.9 by 3.6. That's all I know. My great friend and mentor, who beat cancer 5 years ago, said to me that they're going to find spots but don't worry.
Today is busy too. Oncologist appt then genetic counseling. In two weeks I'll know of I have to get a mandatory mastectomy and possibly a hysterectomy if I have the mutated bracce gene. The oncologist will let me know what he thinks of the tests yesterday, if/what we need further tests for, and if my arm veins are good or if I'll need to have a port installed into my chest. There's no doubt that I'll be getting chemotherapy at some point.
Tomorrow is busy too. Another appt with another surgeon. MRI of the breast.
Friday is surgery to test and see if the lymph nodes have cancer in them.
Friends please be there for me. Help me to be strong. Help keep me positive. We will need a lot soon.

Testing 1,2,3

Last night sleep was nearly impossible because of the impending day lined up. This morning I have to stop eating and drinking at 7:45am. We're dropping off my son at nursery school then heading one to a new breast surgeon, Dr Anne Rosenburg. People have said she's the best. She's funky with taking insurance so we have to bring a nice chunk of cash for her this morning. We'll do what we have to do to come up with the money if she's the right surgeon. Then we have to speed over to do some testing at 11:30am. Bone scan injection at 11:45am, Cat scan at 12. Chest X-Ray at 12:30pm. Then there's a break to eat. Bone scan at 1:30pm. Then we're done for the day.

Tomorrow is an Oncologist appt at 9:15am.

Thursday we have an MRI of the breast and meeting another breast surgeon at 2:30pm.

Welcome to my new job. Sometime in there I have to get blood work, and there's another surgeon that I wanted to meet up with. I've been talking with cancer survivors, plan to go to a meeting, organizing milk drop off.'s. Although I created a Facebook group called, Human Milk for Joslyn. In only a few days we have 95 members. People who are interested in donating breast milk, being a courier, baking lactation cookies, storing milk in their freezer. This group gives me hope.

I guess now this blog should be called Tales of a Tattoo Mom with an extremely aggressive, invasive breast cancer. A biopsy came back the other day, and it says that it's aggressive invasive ductal breast cancer poorly differentiated. I'll post the pathology for you to see. (two people were concerned that someone would steal my identity so I took it down)

I'll share this with every one. I can't do this alone.

My lactating is coming to an end. As I type I have cabbage leaves on my engorged breasts in hopes to slow the milk production. Unfortunately the hormones that cause breast feeding might feed the cancer. I didn't believe that at first. I wanted to breast feed my little girl until she was old enough to lift my shirt and suckle on her own if she wished to do so. I wanted her to self wean when she was ready, but everything has changed. Now I can only hope to be around when she's that age.

I'm reaching out to lactating mom's out there to acquire donor milk, and so far it's working. South Jersey/Philadelphia has an amazing network of breast feeding women. Social media has helped ia greatly especially in the birthing, breast feeding, and babies Facebook group. Thank you, wholeheartedly.

We now have our own Facebook page called, Human Milk for Joslyn. Please add if you want to help even if it isn't donating milk. We are looking for people who can be couriers, supply sterile bags, or even bake oatmeal cookies for gals to build up their supply.

We also have a group on www.lotsahelpinghands.com and Team Tegan. Soon enough we'll be putting duties up there you can sign up for. We'll need sitters, drivers for rides, people to cook meals, clean, do errands, walk our dogs. If anyone does healing services and wants to donate time, there's a massage table at the house already. Prayer chains are welcomed with open hands.

We're also accepting monetary donations. I'm unsure how much I'll be able to work through this time, and we depend highly on my income for our bills and rent. Because I'm self
employed, I'm not eligible for any government assistance. There will be benefits held in MA, NJ and possibly Fl and Philly. Also we're accepting Paypal donations via my website, www.teganink.com. In addition to that you can join our human tribe. It's a necklace with a 'T' on it.