Thursday, February 25, 2010

Snow day... again

We're on the fourth snow storm of this season. In South Jersey this is a record season. Considering last year we got less than one inch of snow, I'm in shock. However I feel more at home being from New England. I'm also lucky since my chivalrous husband refuses to let me shovel despite his crippling back condition. So now I'm stuck inside on my day off.

Let's just get this out of the way.

It's getting overwhelmingly annoying that everyone I run into is suggesting we have another child now that Talon is 18 months. No one can understand that one child is enough for us right now. Unless we surprisingly get pregnant, we're not trying. I'm still breast feeding and haven't even gotten my "friend" back yet. I think I'm going to breast feed forever. I wonder if the prolactin hormone causes me to think this way. We can't make up our minds if we want more children, but as of right now it's not a good time considering the situation we're in right now.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I consider bearing another offspring. This especially happens when I run into a pregnant friend or relative or see another newborn. It's usually a warm yet fleeting feeling shot down once the baby cries or I hold it. I can hardly remember Talon as a newborn. He's becoming more and more independant. He's starting to tantrum. How could I have a tantruming toddler and a newborn at the same time? Then I think to my self, "You people with more than one child are crazy!!"

Perhaps there will never be a good time. I'm starting to feel fine with that because I want to be able to go on extravagant vacations with the family and be able to afford to splurge on things we might not be able to do with two children. Not to mention I'm still traumatized by the pregnancy and birthing process. Hours of therapy might help me to get over this, but I'm not sure. I can't relate to the many women I meet that love being pregnant and giving birth. It's incovienient, uncomfortable, debilitating, and gross. The only good outcome of the gorey experience is that your gifted with a child. We're pretty satisfied with the one we got.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I'm back

Times have changed at the Beyer house. My hubby is recently unemployed, and it seems like he's been sending his resume out into a black hole with this poor economy. He's become a Stay At Home Dad. I call it a SAHD pronounced "Sad" since it's not his ideal situation. He's the type of guy that likes to be the bread winner because he was raised that way. While I love that about him, I want our son to grow up thinking that that's not the only way. A mom can be the bread winner and support the family too. I'm trying like hell to make that happen. Not only because my husband is unemployed in a tough economy, but his herniated disks in his back is causing him so much pain lately. He can't sleep let alone even go to work at this point, and we're waiting to hear back form the surgeon to see if he's a candidate for minimally invasive surgery.

Therefore I'm back to work full time. Mostly I'm in Philly at No Ka Oi Tiki Tattoo on 4th and South. Then a couple of times a month, I'm traveling to Jim's Tattoo in Seabrook, Nh. Also during the week I'm available at the New Jersey Body Graphics location. It's exhausting, but I love it. I work long hours in Philly, try to cook, clean, and spend QT with Talon and my husband when I'm off. It's tough to balance it all, but it's my reality.