Tuesday, July 7, 2009


If you have children, you know all about teething. Talon has been working on six new teeth coming in the past month. I tell ya, I wish they all came in at once. He's been so latchy and cranky. He won't nap in his crib anymore, but he's happy to sleep in my arms. This gives me no break at all. Josh is away, and I'm counting down the minutes I get to drop him off at the sitters and go to work. This still doesn't really give me a break because I'm working, but at least I don't have a child attached to me.

Everyone knows being a Stay at Home Mom isn't an easy job, but it's way more difficult than you can imagine. At least it's the toughest job I've had. I wish I would've had children earlier in life because I wouldn't know a different life then. Now that I think about it, my life used to be so easy and lax. My life went like this. I'd go to work and draw on people all day long having a great time socializing and joking around. I made great money, ate out at most meals, went to the gym often and saw a personal trainer. I went out drinking, shopping, or partying whenever I wanted. Now that I'm a mom, that's all changed.

Don't get me wrong. Having a child has shown me joys of life that I never felt before. I'm so much happier with a child. But that doesn't make it any less difficult!

Sometimes I day dream of going back to work full time. It would give me time to feel independent for part of the day. Then I figure I didn't have a child so someone else could raise it. I want to raise my child hands on. My mom worked full time. Heck she worked over time because she had to. I was a lonely latch key kid that grew up way too fast. I don't want that for my kid.

Technically I work part time, but only 10- 20 hours per week. I can't handle working more than that and not having a complete nervous break down. I've tried to work at night and take care of the baby and housework all day, and I want to go postal. Ask my husband. He's seen sides of me that I'm not proud of. I'm just trying to work this whole thing out.

Being a mom has been a transformational experience for me. Sometimes I'm cool with it, and sometimes I get pissed because of the sacrifices that I've had to make. Lately I'm sucking it up and trying to be a good mom/wife with a smile.

This whole teething thing puts a stake our daily routine, and has made it difficult for me to focus. We used to have a great seemingly planned schedule, but that's now gone. On top of that we hear that prolonged use our one saving grace, Tylenol, causes liver damage. Now the only reliefs we can give our little man is some oragel, teething tablets, cold teethers, and love. He won't nap unless it's in my arms. That's the absolute worst because his nap time is my break time where I get to do things like take a shower or pump some breast milk in peace.

Tonight I had it with the latchiness. He hadn't slept more than an hour all day. He proceeded to fall asleep in my arms while I chit chatted about tax laws with the IRS. (Great conversation by the way.) I tried to set him down on the couch- not having it. Then after he went back to sleep again, I tried to set him in his crib - not having it. I usually don't do any type of cry it out, but I let him cry a little bit. He'd cry a little, and then be quiet. Repeat for about a half hour or less. It seemed like eternity, but finally he's asleep. Now I get my freedom. When he's sleeping, I get as much freedom one can get confined to a house.

We're counting down the days until the last two of this sesh are through the gums so we can have the happy baby back again.