Baby brain continues

I never thought I was flighty or airy until the end of my pregnancy. Then one day, it began. I forgot what I needed to do that day, who I had plans with, and other everyday things. It was to my knowledge that this went away after pregnancy, but I still have these symptoms. I forget what time there's a play date at my house, that I need to renew lisences, pay the meter, etc. Do I have to set an alarm for everything? I need to figure this out. This can't be the new me.

Perhaps I just have too much going on. Working full time and balancing a schedule at three different studios in three different states. Tattooing just takes everything out of me. Then that doesn't include the extra time I put into drawing, commuting, pumping breast milk, and ordering supplies. Top that off with taking care of my husband who's recovering from back surgery and a male toddler who demands 100% of my attention except when he's playing in his sand box. Let's finish that off with the endless house keeping, cooking, and food shopping. My plate is overfull. I'm losing my mind.

I need to find time to recharge. Writing helps. Doing nothing at all helps. A vacation would be absolutely fabulous! Looking at art, enjoying a good book, getting a massage, cooking a fabulous meal, or dining out. These are all things that help me fill my creative battery. Some of the time when I find myself losing my mind, I can't even relax since I'm worrying about all of the things I need to take care of. It's a conundrum.

Well today I'm working towards change. My husband understands that I truly deserve a break so he insisted that I get some R&R at the salon/spa. He got the ok from the surgeon to pick up our son again so he'll be taking over his Stay At Home Dad duties once again. I'm sure this will relieve some tension. Therefore this afternoon I'll be enjoying a massage and a bang trim today. Afterwards my plan is to cook a fabulous meal and do some drawings over a bottle of wine of course. Let's see if I can stick to it.

In Recovery

Well the surgery went well last week. We got in there on time, got Josh situated, and then I walked nervously around the city. I walked about 2 and a half to 3 miles that day. Maybe more... I got a pedicure, went shopping at LUSH and Juicy (and spent way too much money on a jacket at Juicy), ate lunch, pumped in the car, had a drink, and napped while sitting up in the family surgery waiting area at the hospital before I was allowed to see my husband. It had been 6 hours, but it felt like an eternity. I was in the midst of a terrible cold with a stabbing head ache that lasted for two days so this added to my anxiety levels. The surgeon had called me after the procedure to tell me what happened and that everything went smoothly. That was the biggest relief. I hadn't been as excited to see Josh after surgery since we first started dating and were still living in different states. Now we're in recovery and a whole slew of new obstacles have been presented before us.

The first ten days to two weeks will be the worst. During that time, Josh isn't allowed to do anything besides occaisionally walk. He can't lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. He can't do bend or twist, drive or lift his own son. Will he do this being the stubborn man he is? I caught him folding laundry the other day. His mother doesn't help. She thinks he should be given small tasks to make him feel important. I think he should do nothing. Thank God she helped out, though. With me being the bread winner, I have to work. At least now it's Monday, and I don't have to work until Friday. I can keep an eye on him, and yell at him if he doesn't obey the rules.

Back Surgery and memory loss

My husband's back hasn't really gotten any better. After a visit to the surgeon, we've agreed to put him through it even though I don't have the best feelings about. Surgery scares the crap out of me. The convincing point was because he has a piece of disk that broke off and cold potentially be lodged in his spinal column. Apparently he's cleared to have the surgery per some pre operation tests. Next Thursday is the big day.

On another note, I was very excited for a day off from work. I took Talon to First Steps Gym for some pay time, and then we went to Monsoon Indian lunch buffet. Let's note that he was pretty good during that lunch since he was into the rice with raita, pakoras, and Tandoori Chicken. Then I distracted him with ice. After our fabulous meal, we hopped in the car to go home and relax when I saw a message from Body Graphics on my phone. They weren't happy with me since I was on the schedule to work from 12 - 10pm. I'm not usually on the schedule for this location, and I didn't even check it. My bad... I'm never a "no show" so this is embarassing. Not to mention I missed out on three walk ins earlier in the day. I collected some supplies from my storage at home since I left everything in Philly and rushed Talon over to his life saving grandma's work. Now here I am at work waiting for a touch up to come in. Hopefully some more people will venture in here to get something done. It can really be hit or miss here.

So no day off for me until Tuesday. I'll be at No Ka Oi tomorrow. I'm going to NH on Sunday and Monday. At this point, I'm feeling a little burnt out and wishing I could get a break. It didn't help that I went out drinking with work buddies last night. This partying would've been skipped if I knew I was working since I'm no longer a big fan of tattooing hung over. Thankfully Josh and I are getting out on Tuesday night, but I'm not sure what we're doing yet. The more I work, the less I know what to do with my spare time because I feel like I should be working.

What I really want to be doing is getting ready to cuddle with Talon and rock him to sleep. Then fall asleep with him in my arms. I could've made some Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars or Monster Cookies today. I could've had some more time with my young son. Woe is me a working mom. If only I could be a SAHM again.