40 weeks 1 day

Now overdue, my anxiousness is constantly winning me over at this point. It's reassuring yet somewhat frustrating to see people that share the same due date go early. There have been two our of 5 ladies to go so far. I'm so happy to see them have their little ones, yet I'm insanely jealous and bummed out because I feel as if I'll be the last in line to go into labor. Time will tell. It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but time inches by when you're so uncomfortable.

My negative thoughts are fueled by my first birthing process. The last gestational period lasted almost 41 weeks, and it was induced by pharmaceuticals due to low amniotic fluids in the womb. With Talon, I wanted to have an all natural water birth. That wasn't an option. There was one whirlpool tub in the unit we went to. I chose the hospital for its lower C section rate since I wanted to avoid surgery as much as possible. I believe that this country cuts women at birth way too often (but that's a whole other blog), and one medical intervention leads to another.

It was serene floating in the bath while listening to relaxing music and enjoying the ebb and flow of the contractions. The shit hit the fan after I was kicked out because someone else wanted to use it. Then I demanded for drugs and was given them. They put the epidural too high, therefore there was only 3 hours of relief in the middle of the laboring process. Once I started to fully dilate, I could feel everything including the crowning and every push. With 3 hours of relief from a 30 hour labor, drug free is how I want to go. Therefore I asked my husband to deny me the pain meds in my weakest moment this time around. Although it doesnt matter since my midwife doesn't administer epidurals. The tub, breathing, and relaxation will have help me through the discomfort.

Unless there's another surprise in our future, this will be my last birthing experience. Hence, my ultimate goal would be to begin labor spontaneously and have the baby n the water. We're considered a low risk brith so this is possible. Without getting into detail, let it be known that it's quite uncomfortable in this state. It can't happen soon enough.