Sunday, May 5, 2013

The new normal

It's odd how going through complete hell can shift ones perspective completely. I can't stress enough how important it is to care for yourself and reverse depression before disease manifests like it did in me. Fill your cup first before you fill the cups of others.
Negativity and stress are the worst things for a human beings health. I spent many years dwelling on the past and worrying about so called problems when I could've been enjoying life. After going through having cancer, diagnosis, and treatment, I can't stress how important it is to enjoy life while you have your health. Count your blessings on what really matters. It's not the house, the car, thw diamonds, the clothes, your pocketbook or bank account that will make you happy. It's the friendships, the love, the fun, and family around you.
After months of being underwater, I came up for air during my last chemo. I was put under water again just two days after the last infusion, but I've come back up on top and hoping that I'll stay here for awhile.
How trivial it might sound, but I posess a deeper appreciation of the simple, meaningful things in life. Worrying is a waste of time when there is so much that I can enjoy in the now. Love, caring, happiness, creating art, laughter, sharing and helping others is what matters to me. The veil is lifted, and I experience all of those things day to day. Don't get me wrong. I'm not living a perfect life, but the moments of despair are fleeting these days.
I've lived such a full life. I've traveled and met so many interesting people. I've pursued a career which has been my passion for the past 17 years. Next year around this time, will mark an anniversary of 18 years of tattooing. That will be half of my life. I'm hoping to tattoo at least another 18 years or more.
Being a mother has also changed my focus. My life revolves around my two little ones. I rarely go out without them, but it's worth it. Although sometimes I can't wait to go to work. I see it as a healthy break from them. Seeing them grow and learn has always caused me great joy. I hope that I can instill in their kinds how important it is to seek happiness and love themselves first and foremost.
Now almost a half of a year from my last chemo, my cancerversary is almost around the corner. My last reconstruction surgery for the final implants is June 14. I can wait to see my new chest. I see my oncologist in August for a check up. I think I'll see him every 6 months. Then every year. Then never again.
People tell you that there will be a new normal after cancer. There is. That new normal for me is a much happier and grateful place. Going through the trauma last year, I could still be grateful. It's just different now.

1 comment:

  1. Great pictures of you and your family. I am glad to hear you are coming up into a good place. ~ Catherine